Sleep hasn’t dawned me yet. Maybe because I can’t put my mind to rest. I am trying but it keeps fighting back. These past few months has been really tough for me. The ‘what-ifs’ and ‘what-could-have-beens’ are running in my head. And I realized that it was my fault the thing I want to happen didn’t come full circle. I was being childish and stupid. But was I? I let my principle occurred on this one that’s why I didn’t take the chance. I was scared too. I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I did. I hurt that person with what I said. And I hurt the other one with what I did. I’ve been feeling guilty for what I did to the both of them. I want to apologize. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Feelings change everything. It changes you.
My ‘conversation’ with Siri this morning.
The end is not near, it’s here. For almost four years, I met different kinds of people; experienced expected and unexpected events; learned new things not only about the degree I am taking but also about life and the people around me. They say that high school is the best part of life. I beg to disagree. College is the best part of life. Yes, it’s a lot tougher than expected but that is the reality.
College is not just about text books, midterm exams, parties, plates, business proposal, recipes, thesis. In here, you will learn from the consequences of your actions, fall in love, be heart broken, do things that you least expect you will make, embark on a journey, make as many friends as you can and of course, be independent.
It is sad to say goodbye to hundreds of faces I used to see at college. The faces that has different emotions on because of happiness, worries or fears they are carrying. Graduation day seems like eviction night in the reality series Big Brother. It’s bittersweet because it is hard to leave the people I have shared my life and same experiences in the past four years. They are like family. Sometimes you must let go for the future to come. It’s time now to close this door and take another one that will lead me to a new path.
I dedicate this milestone to my parents. If it wasn’t for their love, support, patience and sacrifices I wouldn’t be on this road. Even though my Mom passed while I was still in freshman year, I know that she was there and still here to guide me. Thank you Mom and Dad. It’s been tough but we did it! I will make sure that all of your hard work is worth it. I don’t know how can I pay both of you for this.